Feel The Silence
by renrie
Summary: The boys of McFLY have finally made it in the U.S and kept Jake as their manager, but could something from Dougie's past tear him away from the band and place him in the care of someone else?
1. Chapter 1

I waited for it, anticipating its arrival as I stood there staring out at the crowd. I knew it was coming, I'd heard the rush of it, increasing its sound as it got closer and closer. Cringing ever so slightly, but always remembering our manager -- Jake's -- reassuring voice in my ears, _Dougie, just because you're the youngest doesn't mean you can chat about odd things on stage and make faces at the crowd._ I did what I could and continued to keep a smile on my face as the scream rippled towards the stage, practically shoving me backwards. I could see the heads in the audience, small from where I was, and speckling the arena like ants on an ant hill. Was I honestly that far away? It seemed I was light years away, in this world that had come on so quickly. This world of competition and music that I'd never dreamed I'd be in. Right here, in Madison Square Garden, doing what I loved most.

The tip of the screams transformed into blood-curdling cries as the lights flashed on and the fans caught a glimpse of us on the stage. As I made my way toward the microphone, jumping into the air and sporting my bass I shot a smile at Danny. He winked me with his hands held high above his head in a victorious way. "We did it, mate." He mouth lipped to me just as Tom struck the first chord. I adjusted my bass on my hip and slugged him with my free hand. He laughed in spite of himself and ruffled my ever-changing mop of hair.

He began to sing the first verse of "I Wanna Hold You" and his Bolton accent that usually made it hard to understand him turned into a sing-song American voice.

I smiled to myself, knowing that we really had finally made it. No matter how hard it was for me to get here… I was finally here. I smiled out at the crowd, knowing that regardless of what Jake had told me in the past I was going to say something dumb tonight. And I really didn't mind.

I felt a nudge from beside me, and Tom was there nodding his head in the direction of a few photographers that were directing their large cameras and tripods in my direction, I knew he wanted a perfect shot of the two of us singing into the microphone together and I instantly obliged.

Licking my lips I leaned in closer to the mike and began bopping my head as I usually do, as I turned my focus away from the photographers and back to the crowd I couldn't help but realize that tonight we would find out if our 4th album had gone to the number one spot on the Billboards.

I looked back at the photographers for a moment, to see if there was any hint of expression on their face as to what kind of article would be written about us the next day, but as always they were stone cold.

I sighed heavily and ran my fingers through my hair, knowing I only had one more song before the show was over. The pressure that I still felt on our forth album was unbelievable and already in the time span of ten minutes I'd gone from feeling like I was unstoppable to realizing that this whole music thing was a lot harder than just showing up.

Before I knew it "Obviously" had ended, the girls had erupted into another scream and Harry had come out from behind the drums. He wrapped his arm around me and patted me on the back just as the lights dimmed and we all began rushing off stage.

I tossed my bass at a random man backstage, grabbed a towel, wrapped it around my neck and charged towards the backstage door. I threw open the door and beamed at our management who were sitting on the couch. I turned myself around and awaited the others. They walked in slowly, but clearly just as excited/nervous as I was. I was shaky, and I squinted at everyone in the room, reading their faces as best as I could; the sides of my mouth curved into a smile as I fell onto a nearby couch with just enough of an idea about how everyone felt to feel good myself. I looked around just as everyone began jumping up and down with delight.

I stayed situated on the couch, not wanting to tell the boys but feeling rather dizzy. "Dougie! Dougie!" Harry was shouting at me and tugging on my arm. I stood up quickly, a little too quickly and became even lighter headed than I had before.

There was a shout, one which I thought was a shout of approval, but when I caught the look on Harry's face my heart dropped. I raised my hand as quickly as I could to my face in the direction that he was pointing and felt the coolness of the blood. I looked at my hand, closed my eyes, slumped onto the couch and let the world go black around me.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up groaning. It took me a minute to get used to the bright light radiating off the brilliant white walls. I blinked a few times, rubbing my sleep doused eye and giving myself a shooting pain through my arm.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled. There were monitors beep around me and a sharp pain running up my hand and into my arm. I looked down at myself, I was covered in a white blanket to match the dull white walls and I'd had somehow gotten some sort of bracelet around my wrist with my name and a number on it.

There were wires protruding from all around me and a needle attached to an I.V sticking into my hand.

"Nurse!" I shouted, "Hello, anybody! I've got to pee." I whined. I really did have to pee, this was no false alarm. I contemplated peeing in my pants for a moment, and pulled back the covers to see how severe the damage would be. I gasped when I caught a glimpse of my legs, I was in freaking dress. If this was the boys' idea of a joke it wasn't even close to funny. I rubbed my temple fiercely, trying to remember where I'd left off. I had just finished the show, and we'd found out that we were number one. Could my nose bleed have put me in a hospital? I looked around once more and filled my nostrils up with the surrounding air.

Disgusting. I tried to recall the last time I was here, but I didn't even want to think about it. Yes, this was the familiar smell of death and antiseptics. I hated it, and what's more, I wanted answers. But first… first I had to pee.

I violently pulled myself from the bed, tugging my light blue dress around my thighs as best I could. I held on to the circular part of the I.V and pulled it along with me as I waddled to the bathroom. Every step I took I felt more and more like an 80 year old man. I closed my eyes and endured the pain and finally made it to the door that I assumed to be the bathroom. Tugging it open in one swift move, I practically threw myself into it, happy to finally release my bladder, but realizing I'd opened the door to an empty white closet. I moaned, throwing it closed and walking to the further door.

"Who in their right mind puts a toilet this far away from a suffering kid?" I spoke out loud to myself, not realizing it was a dodgy thing to do in a moment like this.

Without so much as checking that it was a bathroom, I threw myself as best I could into the bathroom, glad to see that it was a color other than white. Not glad to see that it was pink. I pulled up my dress to find I'd had nothing on underneath and turned around to walk to the toilet. That's when I saw her.

"Hi." She said, smiling at me, proceeding to brush her teeth as if nothing was wrong. As if I wasn't completely naked underneath a dress. I threw down the hem of the hospital outfit, making sure to cover myself securely.

"I'm wearing a dress. And I'm naked under it." I stated it as though it was one of the most normal sentences I'd ever said.  
"I see." She laughed, holding her short auburn hair back and spitting the remaining toothpaste out of her mouth. Rinsing off her toothbrush, she spoke again, "The color blue is rather becoming on you."

"Shut up." I heaved a sigh through my lips, letting them flap back a forth.

"Don't worry; it doesn't make your ass look fat at all." She giggled as she turned around to leave the bathroom. At that moment I realized that this was a joined bathroom. Figures, I'm in a hospital. What did I expected? My own private wing of the place? I shook my head at my stupidity, almost letting her walk out of the bathroom unnoticed.

"Hey, wait." I stopped her, holding out the arm that wasn't attached to the I.V, "Do you know why I'm here? I'm Dougie—…"  
"I know who you are, Dougie Poynter. I've heard about you from... the nurses. Apparently you were a real mess when you got here." She had turned around shortly after I'd spoken, her hazel eyes burning holes into mine.

"Yeah? Do you know how long I've been here for?" I was curious to hear this, wondering if she knew anything else, or if she could tell me anything. For a moment I'd briefly forgot about my dying need to pee.

"Well, in this wing? You've been here for about 4 days. In out of conscious, or so it seems. You'd keep talking in your sleep, or something, I could hear you through the door." She began to turn around again, but I stopped her once again.

"Hey, before I take the piss of a lifetime, you think you could tell me your name? I mean, since we're sharing a loo and all and I'm sure me this time won't be the last time this happens."

"My names Aiden. And you plan on barging in on me in the bathroom on more than one occasion, Mr. Poynter?" I blushed deeply.

"I-I didn't mean it that way." I stuttered, but she'd already laughed her way out of the bathroom, leaving me to pee. I graciously accepted the privacy and did my business before deciding that I'd go talk to her some more, opening the door to her room slightly I peeked in to find her watching the T.V that hung from the right hand corner of the room.

"So I see you've got your suite all to yourself, too, huh?" I commented from the doorway, noting that she was watching a re-run of Friends.

"Yeah, I guess so." She nodded her head, never taking her eyes off of the screen.

"Hey, Aiden? I just had one more question, you know, sorry. I just have no idea why I'm here or whatever." I tried to form the sentence as best I could, but something about the calmness of this girl just made me choke up, especially since I was almost positive I knew the reason I was here. It dated back to my youth, when I was five, but I didn't even want to think about that. Chill out, Doug, this never happens with you. Never. I took a deep breathing before trying again, "What I mean is… I just had one more thing to ask you."

"Shoot."

"Do you know where everyone is?" That question got her to take her eyes off of the screen. She smiled a big toothy smile at me and shook her head.

"Dougie, are you honestly asking me that?" She giggled.

"Yeah, I guess I am?"

She got up and for a moment I began to panic. My heart beat slowed as she walked toward the small window she'd been lucky enough to have put in her room. "Hey, I don't have one of those." I playfully made my eyes wide, pointing toward the window with its shutters drawn tight.

"It's specially for me. Requested, because I'm such a princess." She joked back, "But anyway. This is your answer." She smiled, shaking her head once again at my stupidity as she pulled open the curtains. For a moment I was stumped, it was just darkness. It didn't explain anything, and then it dawned on me. It was nighttime. It had to have been long past 1AM.

"Visiting hours. They're up, aren't they?" I started chuckling at my own stupidity myself, "Wow, I must've been out for a long time." The thought somewhat scared me, that I honestly didn't even have a clue what time or day or even what month it was.

"I told you. 4 days in this wing and at least another 3 in the intensive care wing." She ambled back to her bed, climbing in and returning to her show. Her brown eyes lit up like little T.V screens themselves as the scenes played out to her. I watched intently for a moment before biting my lip and returning to the conversation, fearful that she'd catch me staring.

"Intensive care?" I raised an eyebrow, snapping back to the fact that I was, indeed, in a hospital. And obviously was in bad enough condition to be there.

"Yeah, Poynter, that's what I said."

I nodded my head, letting the information sink in and turning to leave Aiden by herself. I crawled into my bed, opting not to turn on my television and to instead listen to the droning of Aiden's through the wall. It lulled on for another 20 minutes or so before suddenly coming to an end. My ears perked up and I listened for a few short moments before Aiden's deep breathing floated to my ears. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. My thoughts silenced as her breathing soothed me into a deep sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I woke up the next morning to a voice that I had never heard before, "Ah, Mr. Poynter, good to see you coherent." I looked up at the lady standing above me, a clip board and pen in her hands – checking off multiple boxes. "Do you know why you're here?" She gazed over the clip board, raising her eyebrows.

"I have a feeling, yes."

"Mr. Poynter, we have to wait for your family to arrive before we can give you the basics, but I presume that you know very well seeing as you've dealt with this in the past." I squeezed my eyes shut and uttered a few words before the nurse left me to myself. A lone tear slipped down my face and I prayed that Jazzie and my mum would walk into the room any moment now, all the while knowing that it wasn't possible seeing as they had a long drive from Essex. I slid deeper into my sheets and buried my face in my pillow, heaving a sigh and holding my breath.

"Dougie?" There was a slight rap at the door frame of the bathroom and I managed to grunt an answer between my silent sobs. "Are you okay?" The left side of the bed creaked and lowered slightly as the owner of the voice hoisted themselves up onto it.

"I'm fine," I shuddered a shaky breath and rolled over, giving Aiden a half smile.

Her face looked a bit skeptical and she rubbed my back a bit, "Really? You're honestly okay?"

I heaved another sigh and looked at her, "I dunno. I reckon I'll be fine when my mum and sister get here." She nodded her head, silent, but in a comforting sort of way. I enjoyed the way she never really said much – it seemed like she knew so much about me and I still knew so little about her -- it was rather intriguing to say the least.

"Can you still with me until then?" I'd let the words slip out of my mouth before I could stop them, but she already had seemed to make herself at home on my bed.

"Of course," She nodded her head vigorously and pointed to the empty bed on the other side of the room, "You want me to get in there and we can talk a bit?"

"No." She cocked her head to the side and gave me a funny look, "I mean… I'd rather you just stay here." I scooted over a bit to let her lay down, but she shook her head.

"Honestly, I'll just go over there." I watched as she padded across the room in her slippers and peeled back the covers, getting under them and smiling at me.

"So you've got an American accent…" I trailed off, hoping she was elaborate a little more than she had last night.

"Yeah, America doesn't really know how to deal with my condition, I was moved out here when we realized that no specialist was going to give me the attention that I needed." I shook my head, listening intently, but knowing not to pry any further. If she wanted to tell me what was wrong, she would.

"Family?" I posed the word like a question, knowing that if I made an specific attempts at a question that she may not answer it, so instead I left it vague and up to her.

"Twin sister, Leslie, and mom."

"Sounds a bit like my family – mum and Jazzie, younger sister."

She nodded her head and smiled, "I'd like to meet your family."

I assured her she would before we ventured off onto our next topic, and for once in the past two days I completely forgot about the fact that I, Dougie Poynter, have relapsed.


End file.
